Lumberton, NC

I've always had a lot to say about the process. There's a lot to be said. We've been doing something resembling what we do now for about five or six years now, and we started with little to work with. But we cultivated it. We played Thirsty Johns in Palmer and somehow got in touch with people at the old Flywheel which somehow got us in touch with this band and that promoter and then we met so and so at some girls house and we played more shows and traveled more places. It propagates on its own, once you give it the initial kick in the face. But you need to have the balls to kick someone in the face first. And it's not particularly a hard kick. All the younger bands seem to have some sort of sense of self-entitlement that is unjustified and honestly rather pathetic. There's work to be done, and there's responsibilities and due respect that must be considered.

Last night we played in an empty bar at a last minute show in Raleigh, and it was interesting to make note of the younger kids there. They get excited, they really do, they have genuine enthusiasm for this. But they don't know anything about it. The kid who booked the show left before us, and we were the first bands there. But it really didn't matter. There were a small handful of their friends there and they mingled around in the overzealous way that younger kids do, excited by the setting, by their chance, by the slight resemblance it may have to glory-drenched godless rock and roll. The music is awkward and gangly and moves uncomfortably, but there is a sincerity to it.

We didn't get paid, and we slept in a parking lot, and the kids left before 11:00 or 11:30 or 12:00 and went home with their apprehensive parents to sleep a tiny bit closer to what they strive or at least pretend to strive for. And however awkward it was it was a good step: progress.

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Outside the venue I stood in the street for no apparent reason and a man beckoned to me, and I walked across the street to about 10 feet distance from him, and he stammered something about trying to get something to eat, and I said I couldn't help him.

There are certain people I always say "God bless you" to, not because I have any sort of investment in the phrase, and not because its ironic, but because it makes them a little better off for a second.